What is it about this word that generally piques an interest of a person or a group of people? It is generally the relationship that this word is associated with, the ‘daughter in law’
Both words contain two divine words, mother and daughter yet when an intrusive word like law butts in, the words create a warring zone in the relationships also attached to them. A relationship which has so much of love, truth, understanding and transparency converts into a twisted relationship for many when the word law interferes in it.
So what seems to be the problem? Is it the presence of the son in the middle which becomes a shared close relationship and comes with a hierarchal structure? Or is it that the poor man is trapped in the middle of these ‘ladies things’ kind of a behaviour which we encourage and try to put a curtain on through lies, manipulation, taking sides etc? The reasons of the problems can be endless.
1) The mother-in-law and the son have been in touch with each other for a longer time than a newly married man and woman
2) A newly wed enters a home with her experience of life and of course conditioning of what it can or choose to enter with an openness
3) The son/husband feels divided and feels like a boy to his parents and has to balance out between becoming the son and the man together
4) The mother and daughter in law may have grown up in completely different worlds while growing up. Coming to terms with and accepting each one’s world as a perspective rather than the only right way to live may help ease the matter
5) Their personalities may be starkly contrastive and may be of people they have kept away from their entire life and suddenly are forced to be together in a relationship they would not want willingly in the first place
6) A mother-in-law or daughter in law may be very supportive of the life they would like to live but there is interference from other family members
The issues like reasons can be endless. We need to start understanding that men are not alien to a family set up and start opening up to a possibility where everything can be a mutually solvable issue whenever needed rather than type casting as ladies and gents roles for traditional Indian families. Men need to start taking a stand for truth rather than only trying to leave it to the ladies of the home to solve. We can bring about small changes in each home with our consistent efforts and patience of understanding what to let go.
The cord cutting between these two people as a relationship is extremely crucial for a family to exist peacefully. Even if physically there is no apologies exchanged (if there is a requirement) or if there is no face to face open communication (in case required) one must learn to let go with completion with an apology that emerges from one’s heart to reach another heart and accept it too even if it has not been said. Only if one practices this kind of root communication keeping every argument, perspective, situation aside one can exist peacefully.
One needs to understand that even your own child who you love with the intensity of no one else on Earth has to be detached from you for its own good or it will strangle the mother and the child. So then this is about just another whole person who is also part of the son/ man in your life; one must learn to let go with grace or it will ruin relationships and create shards in our hearts which will make it impossible for us to walk on the path of peace for our own selves.
Cut the cord today whoever it is, for your own peace and you will become a brand new you!